What’s wrong with an ordinary existence? Not a dull, meek, boring, whatever existence, but just an ordinary one. I turned 26 today, and yet all I want to do is work for a living, enjoy life, and then die. I don’t need great vacations or even a great job; I see nothing wrong with working in fast food for the rest of my life. I see nothing undignified about holding a job and making your own way no matter what it is. I just don’t understand people even though I’ve gone to college and gotten a psychology degree. People who look down on others for not having a “better” job, people who push and push those around them to do “better” at everything… what is this “better”? When will it ever be good enough?

Everyone around me pushes me every day, saying they just want me to do my best. My parents want to be sure I am well provided for when they die, my boyfriend wants to be sure that we can live comfortably (which to him means really comfortably)… I just want not to be pushed. There’s the saying that “your best is not good enough”, but that’s wrong. It’s not that my best isn’t good enough, it’s that your expectations are too high. Expectations are what cause people to push; and, well, I’m not going to live by your expectations. So what if I sit at a desk, enter data all day, and live in an apartment; so what if I spend my time “messing around” on the computer instead of getting this or that degree or certification so I could get a better job with better pay for a better place. I’m happy. Can’t you understand that? Can’t you just be happy that I’m happy?

Parents say “I didn’t raise a quitter” (or whatever) and I just wonder when will it be enough? Do I really have to win the Nobel Prize or something before you finally say, “that’s my girl, I’m proud of you!” Be proud of me with my average job and my average apartment, be proud because your child is being responsible and being an adult. Please stop treating us like children. I don’t need to be told to “say thank you” anymore, I don’t need you to tell me how to take care of myself. I sometimes wonder if it ever occurs to parents that they can eventually stop being a parent and start being a friend. I don’t need “parents” anymore, I don’t need people who are responsible for feeding and clothing me and teaching me right and wrong anymore. What I need are people who love me, people I can talk to, and -most importantly- people who listen.

But, of course, that’s the hardest thing to find isn’t it? People who listen. And, I’m not just talking about people who help you deal with a break up or listen to you rant, I’m talking about people who really listen. Listen, without judging, without trying to tell you want you should do; just listening. Far too many people have agendas these days to listen, people think they can solve someone else’s problem by saying how they did it or thinking that someone is only talking to them to get advice. I don’t want advice and I am not trying to fix anything, I just want conversation. I just want to talk to someone to get the words out so that they can be heard and shared. And, it’s not like I’m trying to share some big message of hope and love, I just want to talk about normal things. I just want to talk about how what I did that day really affected me, about how this or that happened or didn’t. I just want to talk about life and not have someone on the other end tell me how to live it.

I want to be ordinary, I want to do small things, I want to make the life of other ordinary people better one small, helpful act at a time. I don’t need to make a great change to the world to know that my small steps make a difference to others every single day. Just because I choose to give blood every six months rather than donating half my salary to a “3rd world” country doesn’t make me any less of a good person and wanting to live an unimportant life doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t sacrifice myself for every single life on this planet if given the chance. All it means is that I am fine with making small differences and leaving the big ones up to those who make big differences. I am happy being the one who helps someone pick up their stuff when they drop it and I do it graciously and without a second thought. That’s what people should push others for, that’s what they should push themselves for. Better job, better pay, better place… how about better manners, better helpfulness, better ways to find happiness. I have found mine in being ordinary and I don’t need any extra.