The “personal survey’s” people put in their profiles for social sites are so silly to me. I get the first few questions about hair and eye color and all that stuff cause for some ungodly reason people “need” to know that stuff (and because most of them aren’t smart enough to, you know, look at the pictures you’ve posted xD). But the rest of the survey, like 95% of it, is questions like “do you like coke or pepsi” or “favorite pizza topping”… really, WHO THE FUCK CARES!!!! I can understand your friends learning that kind of stuff over the years, but who the hell needs to know (or even wants to know) that kind of stuff when they don’t even know you? Also, why would anyone want to put that kind of stuff out there for a stranger to read? I would find it creepy if some random person came up to be and started going “so I read you liked Coke and pepperoni…” xD

Maybe I am a bit weird in “today’s world” but stuff like that, those little details that just make up the quirks about you, should be something that you learn from talking and hanging out, not from a little list on a profile before you even say a word. I am not saying it’s wrong to have a bit of background on a person before chatting with them, but that background shouldn’t be about their favorite subject in school. Sites like (insert popular social media site here) almost always take care of stuff like that with the “interests” section… you know, where you list your damn interests! And please make them ones that are actually relevant to starting a meaningful conversation, like: what kind of movies you like or what music… honestly, how long and enjoyable a conversation can you have talking about how much you like Pepsi??)

Ah well, just something silly I thought I would bring up because I was just looking at one of those stupid things. Granted, I have filled out a few in my day, however “in my day” they were sent between people who were already friends and then you would laugh and joke when a friend was all “I didn’t know you liked that! I thought you liked this…” That is perfectly acceptable, it’s just the whole stranger thing that bothers me… which is kind of a silly thing to talk about as I type this up and any stranger across the world could read it, but I think most people will understand what I mean. I have no problem with strangers learning a bit about me and then starting up a conversation, but knowing every little detail about my likes and dislikes and interests and so on and so forth before I have even said more than a sentence to them is just creepy and I would hit instant block on anyone like that xD

My life exists in a digital world where anyone can dig up a lot of history on me, but really, if you want to know about me = TALK TO ME!!! I enjoy conversation (and talking to me will certainly guarantee that your information is accurate haha!) Don’t “look me up,” just say hi, I will like you better for it.

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13 Responses to Surveys…

  1. I liked swapping those ones with my friends where they had to answer the questions about you. Good for some laughs 🙂

    The Coke or Pepsi debate is a very serious deal that needs to be communicated up front. Imagine if you were friends with someone for a while and then you found out they drank Pepsi (jk) 😛

    Haven’t heard from you in a while, how’ve you been?

    • novadestin says:

      lol yeah those ones were pretty fun 🙂 but they always asked the silliest things, I honestly don’t much care what my friend’s favorite flavor of ice cream is unless I need to show up at her door and console her one night… never had that happen 😛 Yet the biggest fears or hopes stuff, that is good to know about friends.

      As for me, I have been a bit busy with work and two new kittens (did I make a post about that, don’t recall…). Either way, we got to kittens, a black 5 month old named Mabine and a brown tiger 12 week old who we haven’t named yet (both female). They are a handful hehe

      Other than that, I have been trying to clean out my computer and finish up some things story wise. I am hoping to be able to start working on my Mary Sue test update soon. Going to add some more stuff to that page too like discussions, other essays, help making a character, etc so that it can help people more 🙂 Any ideas on what you would like to see or would add?

      • Ooohhh a Mary Sue update! Seems like ages ago that I emailed you and we raved on to each other about that, and I’m so excited your adding other resources like ‘how to’ stuff.

        As far as what I would want to see, basically what you’ve already mentioned. A nice clear guide on making characters written by you would most certainly be a golden resource for writers. I don’t mean a dummies step by step guide or anything. Just some ideas for how to come up with characters, things you should generally avoid, and also your profile that you gave me was very helpful for me to organize info about my character and also to help me focus on parts of her that I should have been more focused on. I don’t think I’m the only person who focuses too much on appearance and wardrobe when building an idea of my character. 😛

        So long as you stress what you’ve told me about the hysteria surrounding Mary Sues, and talk about exceptions, I can see quite a few writers (especially the fan fiction kind) breathing a sigh of relief. I think we’re under a lot of pressure to write near perfect fiction to raise the fan fiction bar and get the general public over the belief that all fan fiction is bad, so I think some people get over-zelous calling out “bad” writers and shaming them. They forget all of us had to start somewhere, and a lot of us started there or near to that.

        I don’t care what anyone says. Flaming does not make a bad writer good. If someone is so arrogant that they constantly brush off constructive criticisms and insist they are awesome when everyone is politely saying that they need to improve on areas then they are either a troll or beyond help. I received some mild flaming online once when I first started seeking feedback and it sent me back underground for a few years. I didn’t much improve my writing in that time, just my ability to decide which ideas and fics were meant to be shared with the internet and which ones were meant to stay just for me. (To this day I still write terrible fiction and fan fiction but I either keep it in my head in daydream form or write it in my “bad writing” pad and I don’t share it with others.) I mean, if I put effort into it I’m sure I could make it just as good as my “serious” writing but I’ve chosen to focus my skills on two or three fics and I’m content to leave the rest as daydreaming and poorly disguised insertion/Mary Sue/horribly cliched writing for my own enjoyment.

        If you ever want a giggle or maybe an idea of a perfect what not to do example I can tell you all about the biggest Mary Sue ever created – my elf/nymph hybrid original fiction creation who … Well, I really shouldn’t get into it now but let me know if you ever want an example of a Mary Sue for your own enjoyment or for your resources. 🙂

        As for what I’ve been up to, not much really. When I haven’t been studying like mad I’ve been trying to work in some time to write more Rebirth but it’s been going slowly. I’m almost at a quite long summer break from study, which will give me plenty of time to work on stuff like that 🙂 Once I hand my last assessments in on the 4th of October I’ll basically have till February before I even have to imagine the existence of study. 🙂 ‘Course there’s Christmas, but that’s going to be relatively small this year in my family and social circle.

        How do you spend Christmas? I know it’s a long way away, but I’m already thinking about it because I’m trying to get on top of the present buying thing early this year. I can imagine it’d be way different from my tradition being the opposite season. (I’m Australian btw, in case I didn’t mention it or make it obvious.)

        • novadestin says:

          You know, you should really submit your whole experience with flamers and such as an essay for the page hehe I think it would be a good essay for writers who might be experiencing the same thing to hear from someone who has gone through it. With me, I never listened to the idiots out there so my perspective might not be as helpful by just saying “ignore them” x3 I think its important for others to hear, both writers and people who are reviewing, what can really hinder rather than help and perhaps what to avoid when discussing this stuff so that it doesn’t come off as flaming.

          And there is no such thing as “bad” writing. All writing is good in one way or another, even if its just something that keeps us happy, helps us practice, or just keeps that pen in our hand 🙂 (or the keyboard under our fingers hehe I have my own author insertion stories that I create in my head on a regular bases and I think its perfectly healthy to create those kinds of stories. It is only a problem when the author stops acknowledging that that is the kind of story it is.

          As for an example of what not to do, trust me, there are plenty of examples floating around out there for me to pull from xD however I would rather create generic examples than use real ones because I would hate to use something as an example and have the author be hurt or something you know?

          And I usually spend Christmas sleeping and then going over to my parents for dinner hehe it’s not a big thing for my family. Mostly we just get together and have dinner and hang out. I know you’re an Aussie btw hehe and I know how different Christmas can be down there, I have a friend who lives in Adelaide so I know all about you Aussie’s x3

        • By the definitions of flaming I found on Wikipedia what I experienced was very mild. One user in a writing community I posted to criticized my original fantasy fiction idea which I had put forward to discuss whether it was worth pursuing. He/she pointed out that it was very un-original, and that the sample of writing I’d put forward with my idea read like bad fan fiction, and did so very sarcastically and harshly which I wasn’t used to as I was only new to sharing my writing online. A few more people agreed with him/her in a nicer tone, and one person stuck up for me (not my idea, but objected to the harshness of the comments). I tried to defend my idea and got snarky back at him/her which was a mistake. Then I was drawn into a debate on what is really original in fiction these days and said some phenomenally stupid things which the person quickly refuted and made me look like an idiot (which I was). The comments were harsh an unnecessarily sarcastic but they weren’t irrelevant, they didn’t attack me personally as far as I can remember. The worst part about it was what they were saying was absolutely true, which is the part that sent me underground afterward to re-assess my writing and what I was comfortable sharing on the internet. I still don’t like the person however, because I saw them around that community a lot and by their usual standards I got off very lightly, and it wasn’t always valid criticism. I saw them tell a writer whom I thought was far better than me that they should just quit writing altogether, which I don’t think is ever a valid criticism. So I stopped showing people my work and talking about writing with anyone for quite a while. Then I started to search out specific beta readers with a kind of complicated application process to feel more comfortable with them before I showed them more than a chapter of my writing, and found one who very patiently explained to me the grammar mistakes I was making and noticed when my skill improved which made me feel more confident about my writing until I finally thought it was good enough to start a ff dot net account. Now I’m completely comfortable sharing my more serious fiction with anyone and I am able to laugh at my not so good writing and ideas and not feel totally incompetent. I am addicted to feedback though, because I am obsessed with improving my writing.

          I could write something on flaming if you’d like. The best advice I can give anyone is to ignore it, but I can offer examples of what can happen if you don’t.

          I figured I’d mentioned I was Aussie, or made it obvious, I just couldn’t remember for sure. Sometimes I have a terrible memory. Christmas isn’t a big thing for my family, but it’s an important thing, if that makes sense? We do the same thing year-to-year and while it’s a small gathering and nothing fancy, it’s important (to me at least) that it happens that way. The only thing that changes is every second year it’s a week early here at home because every second year I spend Christmas with my dad and his side of the family.

          The differences between Aussie/American Christmas would be predominately the food and activities right? It’s interesting that while certain differences in Aussie x-mas tradition should be pretty logical and common given the weather, because of the cultural influence America has on the rest of the world and the influence Brittan has on Australia there is a mixture of logical (BBQ’s, outdoor activities like backyard cricket, picnics at the beach, salads and pavlovas and other summer foods) and “tradition” (Santa still wearing winter clothes, a lot of people still eat roasts for x-mas dinner, the pine tree even though it’s not native, fake snow decorations, etc) My x-mas is actually quite Aussie-fied by even Aussie standards (I don’t personally know anyone else who uses a gum tree as a x-mas tree).

          I offered my character as a specific example if you wanted so that you didn’t have to feel guilty, because I know she’s a Mary Sue, so I won’t feel offended by anything you say about her. 🙂

        • novadestin says:

          Sounds good to me. I think for any new writer, hearing about the tough experiences others have gone through and what to do/what not to do can be very helpful. And I know you personally wouldn’t feel guilty but as an overall standard I think its a better idea, not to mention it would make it easier to fit them to whatever scenario/etc that I am talking about at the time hehe

        • I’ll see if I can write something up then. When were you thinking of updating the site? I probably shouldn’t focus on anything but study till after next Monday when my last assessments are due. But after that I can get right on it 🙂

        • novadestin says:

          oh its going to take a long time to update the site, remember it took me a week straight of doing nothing else just to get it done the first time lol

      • — Comment part two, it wouldn’t fit 😛 —

        So anyway, that’s awesome that you’re going to post up some more Mary Sue stuff and revise your essay. I’ve been collecting some interesting writing resources from over the web (including a fascinating Firefly database which has a map of the solar system and planet information and blueprints of Serenity’s layout and tips for writing the colloquialisms (both Chinese and the rough speak). I haven’t had time to read it all yet but that’s what my Summer break is for. 🙂 But good general writing and character building help is hard to find on the internet. Mainly because it’s subjective. It always depends on the style you’re going for and the genre and general context of the piece. I found one author saying as their sole piece of writing advice that you should never ever ever ever use words that end in -ly. Really? Like never ever? Absolutes are never helpful in advice. (Ha! That was an absolute, and it’s even true that there are exceptions to it. Irony is fun.) There is always an exception. I think you’re the queen of pointing out exceptions to the “rules” of characters and writing. I think you’re really good at taking general advice for writing and helping people see it in the context of their own work. What works for some situations wont work for others. So yeah, it’s awesome you’re going to be spreading your wisdom 🙂

        Ahhh, long comments. How I have missed them… Also, Kittens are absolutely fantastic and so adorable. I can’t have one because we have a rather anti-social dog (to four leggers anyway, she’s very friendly with humans) so I am so so jealous. Please post pictures 🙂

        • novadestin says:

          Never use words that end in -ly…. wtf? xD

          “I think you’re the queen of pointing out exceptions to the “rules” of characters and writing. I think you’re really good at taking general advice for writing and helping people see it in the context of their own work. What works for some situations wont work for others. So yeah, it’s awesome you’re going to be spreading your wisdom :)” – hehe why thank you.

        • With the words ending in -ly I think she was talking about the suffix -ly which usually goes with adverbs I think. Which still doesn’t make it true. It did make me feel a little disheartened because I am currently trying to keep the use of those words down a little in my writing. Then I remembered that she wasn’t the queen of all writing knowledge, and continued with my life. 🙂

          Adorable kittens btw 😀 The tiger one reminds me of a snickers bar.

        • novadestin says:

          Yeah adverbs can be easy to overuse hehe and thank you 🙂 Chris still hasn’t picked a name for her yet though 😛 lazy man! lol I told him we should call her sundae cause she looks like she has caramel and chocolate drizzled down her back 😀

    • novadestin says:

      Oh, and how are you btw? hehe

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